While I breathe, I hope

Went to leadership day at kid’s school. One of those things where they say something nice about each kid. Mine got the hug award for giving the most and best hugs. When I hugged her after she came back to her desk she said she saved the best hugs for me.

She also read the labels on a diagram of a spider and was very excited to announce spiders have spinnarets…IN THEIR BUTT.

We expect no less from her.

For those of you who think receiving any form of government assistance is filling out a piece of paper and receiving a big fat check or card full of money a couple weeks later, ha. Ha ha. I am on hold for a telephone interview. My wait time is estimated to be 30 minutes or less. The interview lasts 30-45 minutes. This is after I’ve filled out an application and submitted pay stubs. In the phone interview they ask the exact same questions as the application. Total time 1 hour 3 minutes. And that’s a phone interview. Used to be you spent half your day at the social services office waiting for an interview. First it was be there at 8:30 when the doors open, take a number, first come first served. Then it was turn in your application and they gave you an in person interview appointment. Not you choose – it’s this time or nothing. Then when the economy crashed they moved to phone interviews. I’d much rather do this from my couch than sitting at the social service office for several hours. Even with an appointment if you weren’t the first one of the day you were gonna wait and wait and wait forever. Much like doctor’s appointments after lunch.

I tried to pick back up on some work I’d temporarily abandoned. Didn’t get very far. My caring tank is on fumes.

Yeah I need to make those merit badges for my friends.


I wanted so bad to take kid somewhere over Spring Break. Looking like it won’t happen. I was scouring through Groupon deals for something affordable. All the deals have a catch – $55 a night becomes $110 after the cleaning fee. They all require a credit card (something I don’t have and wouldn’t do business with any bank that would give me one) upon check in. Would have to borrow my dad’s car; he’s been more finicky about it lately.

Really I would love to go to see old friends. Or I think I would. I’m worried I’d reopen more old wounds then enjoy myself.

My ass begged me not to eat chili for dinner. I was going to not eat, then I read an email from someone offering to make me oatmeal for helping them with something around breakfast time. And I started thinking about oatmeal with cinnamon, brown sugar, raisins, made with milk and drizzled with honey.

Not part of a balanced breakfast

My stomach is happy, my mouth is not on fire, and my rear end will thank me at some point tomorrow. At least until I get back into the chili.

I wish…more than anything…more than life…

I haven’t gotten around to the film. Kinda got mad when I heard they were cutting one of my favorite sequences. Turns out they didn’t. Saw them on YouTube; I was underwhelmed.

OBC with Joanna Gleason as The Baker’s Wife. She won a Tony for this.

Emily Blunt versions

Not feeling those.

Then I heard Meryl Streep’s version of The Witch’s Rap and was equally disappointed. My heart isn’t in seeing it.

I noticed today I don’t listen to music in the car when I’m upset. Like it might make me happy and I can’t have that.

But I feel the urge to yell ALEXANDER HAMILTON and dance like a fool, so I know there is some germ of happiness within me.

I love watching them act it out as they rap, even though they’re not in costume. You can tell by their body language they’re in character. Most of the time. They have some fun. I can’t fathom the energy needed to be an actor. Most of the time I barely have the energy to simply exist.

I’m sort of tired but don’t want to go to bed just yet. Feel like if I do I might miss something.

Best to take the moment present
As a present for the moment.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s