It’s turning into one of those days I can’t do anything right. It started off ok, but has started a long slow downside.
I wrote a lot of words and ultimately thought better of them. Certain things will fall as they may.
Another thing screwed up. Done. Giving up. Out of fucks for the day. What few I had were burned out yesterday. I would like to acknowledge Breakfast Buddy as one of two people who helped me scrounge up a solitary fuck for today, as well as sharing in a juvenile moment with me.
Also needed: My parents can care all they want, they can mean well, they can have good intentions, but I need them to stay in their lane and let me parent. Perceived mistakes and all.
Today is a hot mess of drowning in quicksand and disappointment at (almost) every turn. And let me tell you, internet, how tired I am of being expected to stay calm and check my feelings because I have two X chromosomes. Whenever a guy’s mad we’re expected to steer clear and if someone makes him madder it’s their fault for getting in his way. If I or other women are mad we’re supposed to put a lid on it and calm down and change our attitude and if we don’t we’re too emotional. Or we must have PMS or be on our period.
Even if I am at the mercy of hormones, my emotions may be amplified but I’m not upset for no reason. I do not exist to remain pleasant and compliant for the world at all times.
Surprisingly Fight Club was benign. Pointless, and they’re enforcing no cell phones again (sob). I’ll live. Bored, but I’ll live. But I needed the chill.
Even in my assholery I have great friends. I don’t deserve them.
I would like to take kid off for a day trip or an overnight during Spring Break. Something just the two of us. Believe it or not we do pretty well when it’s just the two of us. Most of the time. I’d have to borrow my dad’s car. Mine can’t make any road trips. He might not let me. Especially since the last time my parents had to come fetch me because I got a migraine. Nothing I could help. I certainly don’t request them.
Calling the day. Reboot, refresh, hope for the best.
I just beat a level of Candy Crush that’s been frustrating me for a couple weeks. I feel like a weight has lifted from my shoulders.
Look, I’ll take what victory I can get right now.